It should be noted that all parts of the process are completely anonymous.
If you only have limited time and it is important that you get straight to the point, let the other person know that you are short on time at the beginning of the conversation.
Think about an appropriate title for the conversation.
Naming it will help you define and pinpoint the disagreement.
What do you think the other person would call it?
Try to think about the situation as logically and as objectively as you can. Think about the other person; put yourself in their shoes. Do they have any information which could lead them to different titles?
Will you initiate the conversation? Visualize yourself doing it.
Please select an answer
Do you want to have this conversation?
It is very natural to experience mixed emotions before a difficult conversation. Know yourself and always remember that if you prepare for the conversation, you will be more focused and better prepared emotionally.
What do you imagine you’ll be feeling right before the conversation?
Choose as many answers as you want.
You can’t control what other people think or want. On the other hand, you CAN control what you want, as well as how you present it.
Approach the difficult conversation as if it were a negotiation, where each side wants something. That ‘something’ is often hidden and undetectable at first glance. So, ask yourself if what you want from this conversation REALLY addresses the root of the problem. Make sure to be CLEAR about what you want - do not assume that the other side can read unspoken signals. Do not be afraid to share your needs with the other side. They will not be able to help you meet your needs if they don’t know what they are.
What would you consider to be a satisfying outcome of this conversation? Choose as many answers as you want.
Now, take a moment to think about your answer.
Does the saying “It takes two to tango” apply in this case?
What is the main effect you hope to have on the other side?
Think about secondary effects as well.
I hope they
What do you wish for yourself?
I wish I
Do you understand why you want this particular outcome?
Complete the following: My motivation is that:
To what degree do you think the need, which you described as your motivation, will be fulfilled when you get what you want?
Rate the following statements on a scale of 1 to 5
1 = If I get what I want, my true needs will not be met at all.
5 = If I get what I want, my true needs will be met in full.
Sometimes, the other side only wants an honest apology. It can be more valuable than any compensation.
Can you guess what the other person’s response will be when you start the conversation?
Ask them what they want. You’ll be surprised to see how open and honest people can be when they feel they are listened to without being judged.
Do you know what the other person expects to achieve from the conversation?
Can you guess the other person’s agenda?
There are many advantages to preparing a backup plan in advance. Most importantly, you prove to yourself that you are serious and that you can be flexible. In addition, when you are better versed in all the details, you will naturally approach the conversation from a stronger position. You will be more confident, relaxed and in control. And, of course, if your original plan doesn’t work out, you have an alternative solution that you are willing to accept.
Can you think of other ways to solve the problem?
What do you think the other person might feel after the conversation?
Ask yourself – What might this situation say about me, and which of the following am I particularly worried about?
What might this situation say about the other person?
During the conversation, I might reveal my weakness because of my:
During the conversation, my strengths will come to light because:
Does it seem like the other person just doesn’t get it?
Try harder; find a creative solution!
Think about it: Are your expectations from the other person fair?
Are the other person’s expectations fair?
Do you find this conversation emotionally challenging?
Do you think the other person might have hurt you unintentionally?
Do you think you know what the other person’s intentions really were?
Is it possible that you have unintentionally hurt the other person?
Do you know for certain what your real intention was?
What is the story from my point of view?
What is the story from their point of view?
Consider the other side’s gain/loss as well as your own and try to be honest about how what they gain affects your level of satisfaction.
Will you be satisfied if you DO get what you want?
The questionnaire has helped me decide:
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